A Half Blind Janus

Back during the Cold War, when the Soviet news agency routinely distorted facts to embellish the supremacy of communist leaders, there was a joke that went something like this:

Two presidents, Brezhnev and Reagan decided to race each other to prove which country was superior.  The Soviet news agency, being blind to any truth that overshadowed the glory of its government, reported the following –

“Our president ran well and took second place.  The American president finished next to last.”

What’s the connection between this tongue-in-cheek parody and troubled mother-in-law (MIL) / daughter-in-law (DIL) relationships? Consider a story from one of our contributors::

My MIL is an old-fashioned Italian mom who dotes on her grown children ages 37 and 43. She treats them like the irresponsible children they are, she still does my SIL laundry and shopping and cleaning. Both do not want to marry, because mamma takes too good care of them.  My husband is the only one who is married and she does the same when she comes over to my house. I hate it because when she leaves he says I will never measure up to the woman his mother is….. the cooking, cleaning, sacrificing for the family, “blah…blah…blah”. We have come to blows he and I, and it sometimes puts a strain on our marriage…what am I to do?

-L.

Wow!  This wife inadvertently found herself in a race with her MIL to decide who was the superior woman. The contest had been designed by her dear husband, and he was the one who reported the twisted results. Somehow he decided that “The Best Housemaid” would be the best woman.  This race had been rigged from the start.

The vocal judge in this competition, the husband and son, is a half blind Janus.  Unlike the two-faced Roman god who could see both forwards and backwards at the same time,  this guy only sees half the picture. He looks at his wife with blind eyes; the other face sees only his mommy.  Therefore, Mama always wins.

This judge should be disqualified!

Otherwise, in my opinion, if “L.” prefers to stay in this marriage she should quit the race by admitting that she is not the world’s best housemaid.  She should stand proud and coyly declare “Yes, Darling, your mom can cook and clean better than any other woman, but I bet no one else can make you happy the way I can…”  She is the uncontested winner where it counts the most.

eva goodmil